


THIS IS THE STORY OF TWO FUCKERS THAT DON'T NEED BITCHES.

by lowpunny



Category: Homestuck, homosuck - Fandom
Genre: M/M, hope yall enjoy this, just a mess, tell me about anything that needs to be improved, whatever this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 14:42:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7467309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lowpunny/pseuds/lowpunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Caliborn narrates sex.</p>
    </blockquote>





	THIS IS THE STORY OF TWO FUCKERS THAT DON'T NEED BITCHES.

**Author's Note:**

> Caliborn narrates sex.

#  **THIS IS THE STORY OF TWO FUCKERS THAT DON'T NEED BITCHES.**

SO. FIRST WE HAVE THIS PURPLE FISH MAN. HE THOUGHT HE WAS THE SHIT. HE HAD ALL BITCHES. AT HIS BECK AND CALL. BUT. HE DIDN'T WANT THEM. HE WANTED THIS RED SWEATER ASSHOLE. RED SWEATER WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH FISH MAN. HE WENT ON AND FUCKING ON. ABOUT “CELIBACY” WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS. PROBABLY SOMETHING A BITCH MADE UP. FISH MAN TRIED EVERYTHING. FLOWERS. CANDY. FLIRTATION. BUT GUESS WHAT. NOTHING. FISH MAN WAS SAD. BUT HE HAD ONE LAST TRICK UP HIS WEIRD FISHY SLEEVE. ONE OF HIS SHITTY MIXTAPES. HE STAYED UP FOR FUCKING DAYS. PERFECTING THIS SHIT. FISH MAN WAS SURE IT WOULD WORK. THE DAY CAME. FOR HIM TO TRY HIS ONE LAST DISGUSTING ROMANTIC GESTURE. ON THE ANNIVERSAY OF RED SWEATER HATCHING. FISH MAN GAVE THE AFORMENTIOMED MIXTAPE. IN MY OPINOIN IT WAS SHIT. FOR SOME REASON. THEY DON'T LISTEN TO ME. THE NARRATOR. FUCKING RIDICULOUS. RED SWEATER LISTENED TO THE SHITTAPE. HE SWOONED THE FUCK OUT. THAT WAS THE NAIL IN THE METAPHORICAL COFFIN. RED SWEATER UTTERED TTHE WORDS “TAKE ME NOW” AND FISH MAN TOOK HIM UP ON THE OFFER. FISH MAN CEREMONISOULY RIPPED OFF HIS SHIRT AND YELLED THE MATING CALL OF HIS PEOPLE. DON'T ASK ME WHAT THAT MATING CALL WAS. EVEN I. THE LORD OF TIME. DON'T KNOW. RED SWEATER GASPED. SEEING HOW TOTALLY FUCKING RIPPED FISHY WAS. I'M TALKING ALL MUSCLE HERE. HE WASN'T LIKE EVERY OTHER NON CHERUB. NOT ALL SOFT AND SQUISHY. FUCKING ROCK HARD ABS. ONCE FISHY HAD DISROBED. RED FOLLOWED SUIT. BUT RED WAS WEAK. SO. FISHY DID HIM THE HONOR OF RIPPING OFF HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THERE THEY STOOD BUTT ASS NAKED. IN A PILE OF RIPPED CLOTHE. FISHY WAS ADMIRING HIS OWN BODY. AND RED GOT JEALOUS. SO RED FLUNG HIMSELF AT FISHY. FISHY. BEING THE STRONG MANLY MAN HE IS. TOOK THE BLOW LIKE A CHAMP. CATCHING HIS MATE AND ASKING WHAT TO DO ABOUT THEIR WEIRD DICKS. RED TOOK THE INITIATIVE AND COMMANDED HIS “BULGE” TO CHOKE THE SHIT OUT OF FISHY’S BULGE. BUT THEY DON'T BREATH OUT OF THOSE. SO THEY BOTH SURVIDED. SADLY. RED’S BULGE WAS. YOU GUESSED IT.  RED. AND FISHY’S WAS PURPLE. TOGETHER IT MADE THIS WEIRD MAROON COLOR. RED AND FISHY WERE SQUIRTING THEIR RESPECTIVE COLORS OUT OF EVERY ORFICE OF THEIR BODIES. THEIR BUGLES TIED THEMSELVES INTO A KNOT OF PLEASURE. RED SCREAMED LIKE THE BITCH HE WAS. FISHY MOANED LIKE A MAN. THEY WENT ON LIKE THIS TRYING TO UNTIE THEIR DICKS. AND GETTING OFF ON IT LIKE THE SICK FUCKS THEY ARE. FOR LIKE. I DON'T KNOW. AN HOUR. MAYBE. WHEN THAT HOUR WAS UP. THERE WASN'T A THING IN SIGHT THAT WASN'T MAROON. RED WAS CURLED UP ON FISHY LIKE A FUCKING CAT. FISHY HELD HIS LOVER LIKE ANY MAN WOULD. GRABBING THAT ASS FOR DEER LIFE. THEN I WALKED IN. UPON SEEING THIS MESS. I DECAPTHALOGUED MT GUN. AND SHOT THE FUCK OUT OF THEM.

#  **THE FUCKING END.**


End file.
